Don’t you wish that one day you could wake up in bed next to a hot South American doctor named Cruz, with muscles on his muscles, hairless pecs, and teeth that reflect the sunshine?
You roll over desperately searching for a mirror, as you think it’s all a dream. You pick up the conveniently placed mirror and stare into it for answers, but instead find you have perfectly styled bed hair, and a naturally un-natural made up face with smoky eyes enough to make Angelina green. You quickly peel back the messily un-messy made bed covers to reveal a perfectly tanned and toned body and perky D cups winking back at you. It is at this moment, you realise that you’ve woken up in a soap opera.
Doctor Hot rolls over and confesses his undying love and millions. Then he informs you to watch out for his evil twin, who is back from the dead and is trying to have your babies whilst competing for Mr. America. But it’s ok, because he’s hot and has millions.
Then, you are instantly ready for your high-powered executive job that you inherited, not earned. Your day includes; gliding across the gigantor office, making decisions that NASA educated graduates cannot make, networking and fake laughing with esteemed colleagues, hiring and firing the same person because you cannot stand his mono-brow, and having faceless deep and meaningfuls about Roger from accounting.
Your day is then cherried on the top by having dinner unsuspectedly with hot doc’s evil twin, at a super classy establishment. You don’t eat (you never need to), but drink copious amounts of Champagne without making a fool out of yourself.
Meanwhile, your half-sister who’s secretly your real sister has had an affair with the milkman, your uncle has just found out he’s the father of your mother, and your mother is preparing to over-throw your company wearing a cape and mask.
So the question is, how do I wake up in a soap opera?