The New Workout Plan

Exercise, it’s something we need to do to keep fit and healthy. There are so many kinds, that it can be overwhelming. Then there’s the obvious stuff that we should be doing like taking the stairs instead of the lift. It’s a pretty shit deal if you live or work on the 57th floor.

Then there’s the super incidental stuff that no-one mentions, but could be made into next Zumba-like craze. Hey, you could possibly turn it into an advertorial and get rock-hard abs from only 3 minutes a day…

– Laughing so hard, it hurts. Your stomach tenses up, activating your abdominals. You’re so far in; you can’t talk, breathe, or make any more ridiculous donkey guffaw noises. Even your tear ducts benefit, as the waterworks start. Blissfully painful.

– Catching mosquitoes with your hands. For a light workout, go for the simple one-handed whack. Remember to alternate arms. For a more intense routine, use your whole body to run, jump, pounce and chase. Hold your yoga-stealth pose, to tone and sneak up on the blood-sucking bugger.

– Avoiding prickles. Unfortunately, you forgot to spray the lawn for prickles. Fortunately, when you walk across the lawn you can now hop, skip and jump across. This really hones into the calves, glutes, and quads.

– Singing at the top of your voice. Whether it is in the shower or car, the higher the note, the more defined your neck muscles become. And let’s face it, who doesn’t want a nice neck.

– Mixing a cocktail, using a shaker. Allows you to define your bingo bat wings. Adding a little umbrella is the perfect way to cool down after the intensive workout.

So all you need is to give me your credit card details and five easy payments of $19.99. I will include your phoney testimonial on the next daytime ad.

About stuffnjsays

I'm NJ, and my life motto is to maintain happiness and be true to myself. I love to write, travel, laugh out loud, and be awesome! I believe in making my dreams come true, and using my life experiences to help other people. Check out what I'm up to, here: stuffnjsays.com
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One Response to The New Workout Plan

  1. Lois says:

    Yes, we all need to go for a nice neck!! 🙂

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