It was a superb evening, and I wanted to make the most of it. Mainly because I knew that summer was quickly drawing to an end, like a cougar going through menopause and realising her game was soon up.
The summer had treated me very kindly by letting me dance through it with a wine in hand, and I just wanted to squeeze every last drop it had. So I finished the grocery shopping and picked up some lamb korma with naan. I drove home to see the clouds smooshed across the sky like the bug stuck under my windscreen wiper.
I headed down the beach access armed with dinner and a towel to sit on. A cosy spot waved out and called me over, so I decided to park up there. I can be easily swayed.
The minute I sat down and opened up my dinner, a freaking seagull had spied me. I was in its line of ‘potential easy dinner’ sight. Little did it know that I was secretly wearing my invisible Anti-Seagull Brigade badge. I named him Slippery.
Slippery inched closer and closer. It played that kid’s game ‘statues’ with me. Every time I looked back, it had its head cocked and fiery eyeball beady. Then Slippery and I were in an intense stare-down. The little bugger was not going to give up easily.
Another gull tried to muscle in. Slippery was chased away, but came back when take-over gull realised that I wasn’t going to give up my curry. Again Slippery was as smooth as ever in a bid for some food. I nearly liked Slippery, for its sheer determination.
Two sets of bronzed guns in singlets ran past. Slippery was feeling inadequate, and flew off. I didn’t, I simply admired the view, I mean sunset, and finished my tea.
Slippery came back, but only in time to see me pop the last morsel of naan into my mouth. At that point, I wished I could handle eating beef vindaloo, because I would happily give some of that up to my unsuspecting new frenemy.
The pin dropped for Slippery, when I put the lid back on the container. It was clearly defeated. As it buggered off, I could see its tail tucked between its legs. I didn’t feel the least bit sorry for Slippery, but instead triumphant. Because once again, I was the reigning beach queen supreme!