It’s All Fun and Games, until Someone Gets Their Testicles Out

I think it’s safe to say that the best night’s out are the ones that suddenly sneak up on you and sucker punch you with untapped awesomeness. It could be the ‘I’m only going to have one glass of wine’, the ‘Nah, I’m not going to have a big night’, or a simple early weeknight that gets alliterated with ‘Mojito’.

So we could term these nights as being ‘Accidental’, but the fun that ensues is no accident at all. There is a high probability that you are:

a). Agreeing with me

b). Nodding your head

c). Smiling

d). Reminiscing on one or more of these accidental fun nights

e). All of the above.

Don’t get me wrong, it is mega fun to have one of these ‘what just happened nights?’ with a wee bit too much to drink and some good friends. But you can actually achieve these random times sober, by having an open-mind, wild imagination, and a ‘you only live once’ attitude. But be careful, in the heat of the wind-swept moment, it can lead to stuff that seems like a really good idea at the time, until you try it.

A couple of Tuesdays ago, we were having one of those nights. What started with a final game of beach volleyball which ended up including 20 free beer vouchers, random stealth ninja roll car stops, carving up the d-floor, and playing extreme dress-up ping pong in a hangar.

I was the sober driver and all was going swimmingly until part-way through our heated match when the sole male participant (who we barely knew), tried to make a joke.

“Where are the balls?”

“They’re here,” he said as he unzipped his pants and hung out his walnuts.

The disgusted looks on our faces quickly prompted him to retrace his brash moment. He went to the bathroom and we told PINC1 (Partner in Crime 1), what had just happened, because she was actually looking for the ping pong balls.

“Did that just happen?”

“Um, yes.”

“We need to leave now.”

“Ahhh, yes.”

So quicker than Tiger’s getaway, we said ‘See ya!’ and left.

What possesses guys (I would say people, but I haven’t met a chick housing a nest for her eggs yet), to flop them out in front of females? Is it in hope that the ladies will reciprocate, by revealing their melons?

The fact of the matter is that testicles are incredibly unattractive. No amount of anything could make those bad boys look pretty; they just hang out like an extra set of brains.

So I wonder what cog turned in this guy’s head brain to make him think it was ok. Because from now on, he will be known as Mr. Inappropriately Gets His Balls Out.

About stuffnjsays

I'm NJ, and my life motto is to maintain happiness and be true to myself. I love to write, travel, laugh out loud, and be awesome! I believe in making my dreams come true, and using my life experiences to help other people. Check out what I'm up to, here: stuffnjsays.com
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