There are things in life that you achieve and accomplish, that you celebrate in big high fives with others or big air fist pumps to yourself. Things that make you shoulder dance on the spot, or crack the cheesiest of smiles. But sometimes there are just some teeny tiny seemingly insignificant things that make you proudly hold an imaginary trophy above your head.
Compiled below is a very scientifically unscientific list of 30 things that are strangely satisfying:
1. Digging out a deep rooted prickle. This also gives you the right to admire the hitch hiking thistle afterwards and proudly show anyone in the near vicinity, only to drop it on the floor in your undeniable enthusiasm.
2. Sharing a useless piece of information that people actually appear to be interested in.
3. Vacuuming a really dirty floor.
4. Nobody witnessing you do something dumb or embarrassing, like walking into a pole or rescuing your undies from being uncomfortably sucked up into your crack. You look around then relief washes over your face, because no-one is in fits of hysteria or smirking at your expense.
5. Providing the best come back line that can’t be beaten, especially to a person who actually deserves to be taken down a peg or two.
6. When you have the exact amount of change for something.
7. When the rain stops momentarily for you to go from car to door. And for full effect, you turn around to notice some poor person who has been absolutely drenched.
8. When you lug a jacket around all day long, for the ‘just in case’ factor. Your friends look at you with an ‘I’m really glad I don’t have to carry that jacket’ face. Then all of a sudden it gets cold, and you are rewarded with wearing your fabulously cosy jacket for being cautious.
9. Staying in your pyjamas all day long and it’s not because you are sick.
10. Proving a know-it-all wrong, especially when there is your own personal jury to witness the occasion.
11. Someone is being a dick and is driving dangerously. Five minutes later, you pass them as they are pulled over on the side of the road with a cop issuing a ticket.
12. You pull off a prank perfectly and there are no repercussions.
13. Having a mass cull of ‘friends’ on facebook. Giving the axe to people without them knowing is slightly devious and liberating. Cause let’s face it, you only wanted a sneaky look at your old classmate from high school to see who they married and what their kids look like.
14. Rescuing an ingrown hair from being deeply rooted in your dermis.
15. Cleaning out your smaller body orifices. Picking your nose, de-linting your belly button and extracting ear wax. Sounds gross, but afterwards you feel like you’ve been super cleaned.
16. Having the answer to a question that nobody else around you knows.
17. Doing a ghost poo that is so stealth that it streamlines its way down the drainpipe before you need to flush.
18. Licking the ice cream bowl clean.
19. Seeing an ex and knowing that you are alright. And better still, you are looking fabulous.
20. Popping a pimple. With super satisfaction points gained if it takes flight and hits the mirror.
21. Shaving your legs and afterwards realising that you managed to get all of those hairs that usually hide around the knees and ankles.
22. Putting a sticker down straight, without getting any air bubbles.
23. Making an inappropriate joke and at least one person laughs.
24. When you are right, particularly when you had to argue for that title.
25. When you can fit clothes that you used to wear in high school.
26. Removing a grey hair, only for it to be too scared to come back again.
27. Finishing off the last morsel of cake, even though you are full and your pants are expanding by the second.
28. Being the sober driver because you can look around and marvel at the bad dancing, and drunken courting. The next morning you wake up to jump out of bed and aren’t laying cast on the couch all day long and groaning like a bear.
29. Retelling a story and it doesn’t turn into a ‘I suppose you had to be there’ moment.
30. Eating something that should be for breakfast, but you’re having it for dinner. Like cereal.
If you’ve nodded your head in agreement to any of the aforementioned list entries, you’ve helped me add this one:
31. Someone who agrees with you.
I would like to thank friends and family who oh so easily provided their two cents worth for this blog.