I was strolling along the beach in a bid for some form of exercise with my friend yesterday. The sun was making some brief appearance by slicing through the greys and blues in a spilt paint pot of golden splashes across the setting sky. The dunes showed evidence that they had been grabbed and pulled by a large squally hand.
Frolicking dogs came to greet us, young grommets took advantage of the waves, and kids played games with parents in the sand. It was nice to be outside in the salty breeze, chatting away, moving those muscles…… and ‘crunch’.
That crunch sent a smile to my face as the sound mimicked the first bite taken into a chocolate covered ice cream. There’s nothing quite like the sound of something crunching, as we upped our fitness by standing on any shell that was in our path.
Crack, crunch, crack, crunch.
“Ooooo, that was a goodie.”
“Yes! Did you hear that?”
Like stepping on dry autumn leaves or biting into a fresh apple, we crunched our way down the beach looking like we were playing a giant scale ‘whack-a-mole’ game. We didn’t need to talk, as we were in our own little crunchgasm world.
The ‘crunch’ makes you feel like you’ve instantly achieved something. The feeling is like you’ve got a deep-rooted ingrown hair out, you got hold of some bubble wrap, or you just found $5 in your old jeans pocket. And it comes with its own sound effect to give the ultimate in achievement, which let’s be honest is on a similar scale to the Batman ‘Kapow’.
Even writing about crunching is making me want to go outside and let a dead leaf fall victim to the sole of my shoe. I think I am already having withdrawals. Am I a crunch addict?
“Where are you going?”
“Just off to crunch something.”
My flatmates will know it’s bad when they find me face down in a pile of leaves, wearing a homemade jumpsuit out of bubble wrap.
But sometimes you get dummy crunches. Like when a leaf looks like it will raise the decibel rating, but it just squashes flat. Dummy crunches suck, but you quickly bounce back when another casualty unexpectedly crackles under foot.
Not all crunches have a catnip effect on me though. Number crunching, ab crunches, the crunch time…. I can do without those kinds of crunches. I’ll just stick to shells, leaves, apples, chocolate covered ice creams, and Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.