It was lunchtime and I was hungry. Actually hungry is not quite the appropriate word, I was famished. I was bordering on devouring my digits as they furiously typed, because they were the closest thing I had to fast food and they looked like little steaks tapping away.
I opened the fridge door. I was hoping it was going to be one of those moments where an outstretched arm would present a platter and compliment me on how good I looked today. Unfortunately, the power of my imagination cannot jump into real life.
The cupboards were flung open, the fridge stared blankly at me zapping extra electricity points and the freezer was even summoned upon. Everything got the once over, except for the over-flowing fruit bowl. I finally settled on mediocre sandwiches and a tub of yoghurt.
As I sat eating voraciously in a style that Cookie Monster would proudly award ten out of ten for, I conjured up images of things that you shouldn’t do when you are hungry.
1. Grocery shopping – You’re in an establishment lined with packets and produce waiting to be purchased. You end up buying ridiculous items that you really don’t need like 5kgs of sliced ham. You are not shopping with your head, but instead with your boisterous belly.
2. Watching TV – Those deep fried chicken ads always appear to come on telly repeatedly when your stomach is rumbling louder than a thunderstorm or when you are cast on the couch mid hangover.
3. Dining in an expensive restaurant or cafe – More often than not, you over compensate on the order and spend more than you anticipated while sitting there with the belief that obtaining more food will make it arrive faster to your table. The end result is cradling a cuisine baby in your stomach, while trying to spoon more $10 cake into your mouth so that you don’t waste any of your precious pennies.
4. Drinking alcoholic beverages – Carnage, pea and corn decorated vomit and the inability to move the following day, are all inevitable really.
5. Make important decisions – Filling your stomach takes precedence over everything else. “Will you marry me?” “Hmmm, let me finish this lamb shank first and I’ll get back to you.”
So next time you feel a pang don’t wait until you get hangry (hungry + angry), or until you think that you were in the wrong DNA line when they dished out sides of focus… Go and fix yourself a feed to avoid falling into one of the traps of stuff you shouldn’t do when you are hungry.