Home towns, everyone has one. It’s the place where you grew up, where you associate growing up in or are just plain embarrassed to admit you actually lived there. Mine has a giant kiwifruit to show that it’s famous for kiwifruit and has a name that looks like vomit.
I happened to go through my home town last weekend on a bus, with a bunch of out of towners, on the way to a wedding. I gave a running commentary to anyone who cared around me, as we motored on down the main street.
The place really isn’t that big… A few years ago the hardware store burnt down and half the town appeared to have gone. Amid my explanations to the foreign contingency, I started to really notice stuff.
Maccas has staked a claim on a piece of land recently and raised its golden arches. It’s so new that it shines and is dangerously close to the high school.
There are four bakeries , one on each end and two in the middle. I have no idea why such a small place needs so many pies and custard squares and how you can fit them in with you’ve been to the new red and yellow drive-thru.
Come to think of it, there are three fish and chip shops, two Chinese-esque takeaways, a pizza place, Subway, KFC and countless cafes and coffee shops and that’s just the main street. This is not the Kiwifruit Capital of the World, this is the Greasy Centre of the universe.
Someone either got lazy with the road naming or is just a really big fan of numbers. There’s Number 1 Rd, Number 2 Rd, Number 3 Rd & Number 4 Rd. There are more than four roads, but maybe the person responsible for naming thoroughfares couldn’t count beyond four.
There is an adult store. A town is not a town without a brightly coloured adult store on the main street, so that you can try and sneak in while your neighbour walks out. Watering the garden has never been so awkward.
There always seems to be someone with a guitar outside the Dollar Store.
And the retirement village is opposite the cemetery. In between is a road. I guess the grass isn’t always greener…
It seems that some things change and some things remain the same.