I woke up this morning, disappointed with myself. In my dream last night, I’m pretty sure that I’d slept with Charlie Sheen on the set of Two And A Half Men. All I can remember is seeing him shirtless in his big old bed. So not only had I obviously fallen for his lines at a staged bar scene, but I whored myself out while I was asleep, to a man I wasn’t even attracted to…. gutted. Couldn’t I have gone for someone better looking, like my celebrity crush Lenny Kravitz???
My memorable dreams have always been wacky and off the wall, but that has never phased me because my conscious mind is usually just as ludicrous. Like there is no filter from the idea making space in my brain to the actual thinking part and even then it just jumps out of my mouth… and I know I’ve gone too far when my best friend whom is accustomed to the most quirkiest quips from moi naturally raises her eyebrow in a wtf kinda expression.
My first vivid dream that I can recall is when the ravishing He-Man saved me from a treacherous winding cliff fall when I was seven. He was topless, wearing a loin cloth and some kind of bondage studded leather straps crossed over his hairless chest. Maybe it was his bowl haircut? Or his constant ‘I’m gonna get the baddies’ expression on his chiseled face?
So when I opened my eyes this morning and realised that I had been in bed with a shirtless Sheen, I knew that I had to have dream rehab because I was probably dream drunk at the time and somebody stage me an intervention, pleeeeeeeaaaassssseeee! I need help! “You can’t process me with a normal brain.” Charlie Sheen
Oh gawd, have there been more? Have I dream slept with a whole swag of celebrities and not even known???!!!! Awkward shame. It’s going to be hard to look anyone in the eye, with my eyes closed, again!
From a cult ’80’s cartoon character to an international playboy celebrity…. what was I thinking? This is clearly a case of not wanting my dreams to come true.
Please tell me that you’ve done something devilishly wrong while you were asleep!