I Heart Tuesdays – It’s OK to Cry

Anyone who’s anyone knows how incredibly debilitating it is to even attempt to hold in tears. It’s like a flood waiting to thrash down a damn and burst it. That ridiculously large lump in your throat, the short shallow breaths that make your shoulders go up and down, the inability to spit any words out without sounding like you have a massive stutter, the stifle of the howl and the instant feeling of vulnerability like you are 5 years old again and have been dropped off at school for the first time.

I still cry. It’s been 3 ½ years since I’ve lost my husband and nearly a year since my older brother passed and I still allow myself to shed tears when I need to. Absolutely anything can trigger this; photos, songs, clothes, thinking, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, random clips on youtube, kids, puppies, walking along the beach…. Sometimes I know it’s been building and just waiting to jump out, all of that raw emotion. But when it does escape, I do feel so much better for it.

I’ve found that when people say ‘don’t cry’ and extend their arms in a gesture to sponge away those tears, it’s because sometimes they really don’t know how to deal with you and your blubbing. I’ve heard it all before:
But you’ve been fine…
You’ve been through this…
You’ve been through worse than this…
Don’t cry, X wouldn’t want you to be upset…

I figure at that point in time, I just need to cry or be upset for a little bit. That my feelings are valid whether its justified by anybody else or not and after the teary fest, I’m going to feel so much better, because I let it out and I let it go off into the weeping wilderness.

I remember when I was 12 and at my friend’s house. She was building up the courage to dump her boyfriend over the phone. Afterward she thought that she had to be sad, so we cut up some onions and held them close to her face. We ended up crying from laughter at the ridiculousness that American TV shows had shown us how to behave post break-up. A classic case in point about how people deal with things differently and in her instance, her grieving was merely a slice of an onion away.

And here’s the amazing thing, crying can be an expression of an abundance of joyous emotions. Don’t get me started on how awesome it is to cry from laughter. Those tears trickling, the stomach aching… hey, my cheeks are still sore from a massive laugh-fest on Saturday night.

Isn’t it interesting that we can open the water-works from both ends of the emotional spectrum? I cry at the sad memories, I cry at the happy memories. I just like to let it all out with a good cry and you know what… that’s completely unselfishly uber-cleansingly ok.

About stuffnjsays

I'm NJ, and my life motto is to maintain happiness and be true to myself. I love to write, travel, laugh out loud, and be awesome! I believe in making my dreams come true, and using my life experiences to help other people. Check out what I'm up to, here: stuffnjsays.com
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6 Responses to I Heart Tuesdays – It’s OK to Cry

  1. strawberryquicksand says:

    I remember once, when I lived in my own apartment that I had purchased, everything was getting too much and I just thought to myself “f** it. I’m gonna cry.” So i did. Huge big wailing cries. Just at that EXACT FRIGGIN MOMENT my dad decided to visit unannounced. He thought I was being murdered and was frantically bashing at the door. Can I just say, that’s one way to ruin a good cry! lol. But yeah, crying solves a lot of things. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Real Men Weep | Wayfarer

  3. Naomi says:

    Good advice!

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