This awesome aunty was in sole charge of her 6 year old nephew for four entire days and nights. This is the longest that I have been consecutively in possession of a kidlet, by myself. As I unleashed my super awesome aunty abilities, I learnt a thing or five.
Jumping, leaping and balancing are all valid forms of getting from A to B. And when going for a walk, there is always an opportunity to go off-track or to make up rules on where to step so that you don’t die from imminent radioactive sharks.
Winning is everything. There is no room for losers.
When someone says “I’ve got a good idea!” it usually is a really good idea and well worth listening too.
Every fart gets an enthusiastic mention and a ‘he he he’. If there is no response, there is an announcement to follow shortly after.
Every shop walked into is an opportunity to express your desperate need for something and how it will dramatically improve your life.
Sharpening pencils is fricken awesome.
Conversations can be one-sided and held everywhere, especially when you are trying to pee and someone is trying to show you how sharp his pencil sharpening skills are.
Car tracks for racing can be made out of anything.
Not listening to Aunty’s advice about not jumping around while up high on newly discovered slope because a ‘favourite’ car keeps falling out of the pocket and might get lost, will result in feeling like you’ve had your toe cut off.
Discovering pretty shells and filling your newly empty pocket is exciting and will fill the void the recently departed car has left.
Toy departments are a means to run toward with great vigour and it’s also a means to showcase every car that a certain someone has always wanted ever since they can remember. They are also a great place to proclaim compensation for recent loss.
A well executed goldfish memory exercises your opportunity to show your skills of perseverance, particularly when you hear “Well, you’ll just have to save up your pocket money.”
Hunger can be tailored specifically towards chips, chocolate and muesli bars.
You’re only really hungry when you say “yes” to some apple.
Vegetables are deadly and will make you violently ill, but vegetables that are cleverly camouflaged in a meal will make you say “Yum!”
Doing a projectile pee from the top of a hill is a cause for a celebration with an “Aunty! Check this out!”
Not coming into wake up Aunty before the rooster crows, is a sure sign that you’ll get in the good books. Particularly when you let her sleep in until 7:30 or 8.
As you can see, I learnt a lot and in some cases, more than I wanted to know. But the main thing is that I loved it, loved hanging out with my nephew and loved seeing life from a 6 year olds’ eyes.