Friends had never come easy. Through my school years I went from having friends, to hanging out with the kid that no-one would hang out with, because she was taller, chubbier and vulnerable. I was popular by association until I got un-popular by disassociation in ‘The Great Rejection of ‘95’. Friendships came and went; growing and changing. I was too busy doing what I liked, thinking what I thought. I didn’t want to change because I didn’t want to or know how to; I didn’t want to be anything but me.
I took it all to heart. My chest ripped open and the fleshy, blood pumping organ laid out on the stainless steel table. I didn’t know how to take a swig from the cup of harden the f*** up. The scar took ages to heal because every time I felt bad, I’d look down at it in the mirror and sharply run my finger through the groove, blaming it for my inabilities. It took many years for me to stop looking at it as ugly and to just let it be, oblivious to the fact that I did have some wonderfully fantastical friendships all around me.
Here is my message of appreciation, for those I warmly share my life with; sisters from other misters, brothers from other mothers.
I have chosen you because you mean the world to me and because we compliment each other like carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. You are all amazingly beautiful creatures that have a lot to offer the world and have in turn offered a lot to me. From the shoulders to cry on, to the inane stories to laugh at… there are no other people that I’d rather talk smack with on a hungover Sunday, than you!
You’ve helped me achieve milestones, drink dirty shots, clarify the most insignificantly un-complex situations, eat cake, shop ‘til we dropped, twisted my rubber arm, made discoveries, chilled out to cool tunes, see the world, calmed me the f*** down, go on road trips, laughed until I snorted, laughed until no sound comes out and my stomach hurts, indulged in random conversation that no-one else would begin to understand, and make awesome memories.
So to you, my friends, I am the most grateful gal in the world!