I’ve decided to reinstate I Heart Tuesdays, because I do believe that we are constantly learning and continuing to grow. That whether we take it on board or not, there are always experiences to gain from and that was evident in my recent travel.
Yesterday I was reminded of something massive that I have in fact learnt, from my willingness to push my boundaries, last year. Traditionally I am NJ; a planner, a stressor, a worrier, a person who likes things to go her way – the way that she has organised inside of her head. There was only room to self-criticise when things did not pan out accordingly.
Life is not like that, as Lennon had sung, “Life it is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.”
While I had prepared to move to Italy, inside of my head, it didn’t quite work out that way… it turned out even better. I travelled; profusely, relentlessly, unabashedly; because I had to, needed to, and discovered that I wanted to. When my plans had gone awry, I had to seize the moment and go elsewhere.
This wasn’t easy, it was hard as f*&^. It was challenging my cosy ideas. It was going against my grain of sometimes not knowing where I’d end up going. It made me unsettled and freak out a little… until I found some inner calm.
I cannot pinpoint when exactly I had found this sacred thing, this piece of inner peace, if there was a switch or if it had just chipped away. What I can tell you is that near the end of my sojourn, when I was ready to come home, my handbag went missing at a bus terminal – wallet, passport, the lot. The item I’d been most careful with was gone. Instead of flipping out, I surprised myself by remaining composed. Fortunately I still had my phone and there was wifi on the bus, so I was able to converse with my buddy I was going to meet. I came up with a tentative plan to either recover or replace my things and believed that no matter what, everything would be fine.
It was. The handbag was retrieved minus my reading glasses and a wee bit of cash… but that’s what travel insurance is for, right?
Yesterday I fired up Bluebell, my laptop, who had a brand new hard drive. She was purring and I was happy. I reinstalled all of my apps and found that my online storage I had been using for all of my travel photos and writing, had not kept anything. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
This would usually warrant a time to freak out. But instead, I sat there with my stomach about to jump off the edge of a cliff, taking in a couple of deep breaths and reciting ‘It will be fine’. And you know what, it was. I still had bucket loads of photos on my phone and on a couple of USB sticks. The majority of my writing had been saved externally, before I had left. The rest, well, I cannot change that. My stomach gingerly pulled itself back from the ledge.
What I did come away with was an overwhelming sense of gratitude and pride. I was absolutely delighted to recover most of my photos and extremely pleased that I had not flipped out. Moreover, I was in complete appreciation for a valuable lesson that I had learnt during my time gadding about overseas; to stay calm and trust that everything would work out fine.
I am NJ; a challenge accepter, a lesson implementer, a student of life.